I’m Doug Woos, and this is my website
That was the introductory sentence of my first website, which my parents and I created when I was six and which was given the title “Douglas’s Detective Agency.” It advertised my sleuthing services to potential clients with the kind of florid prose you might expect. And while no femme fatales came to my door looking for a hard-boiled private dick to solve the murder of their estranged husbands—hell, they didn’t even email me—I did end up listed in several dubious online registries purporting to catalog detective agencies in the Midwest (I grew up in Vermont).
The web has come quite a ways since then, and Douglas’s Detective Agency has fallen by the wayside, an unfortunate casualty of the information age and of my younger self’s short attention span. With its passing, I have been left with no internet home for most of the past decade and a half. So here I am again, trying once more to make my presence known.
The point being, if you’re looking for a gumshoe in Michigan I probably can’t help you.
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